5 Weeks Post Op

We are now 5 weeks post op! As of the scale I borrowed at my kids docs office yesterday I am down 35 lbs since I started the pre op liquid diet and 48 lbs total from the first time I stepped in my surgeons office last May.

I’m also down:
6.5” off my hips since May and 2.5” in the last 7 weeks.
5.25” off my waist since May and 2.25” in the last 7 weeks.
4.25” off my thigh (just one not both) since May, 2.75 of those in the last 7 weeks.
7” off my upper stomach since May, 4.5” of that in the last 7 weeks.
4.5” off my chest total, 1.5” in the last 7
2” off my upper arm, both in the last 7 weeks (stupid stubborn fat!)
4” off my calf, 1.25” in the last 7 weeks

It is amazing to me how different my shape looks in the mirror. That upper belly fat is amazingly stubborn and that’s what’s melting fastest at the moment and I could not be more thrilled.

Diet wise I am starting Week 2 of “Soft Chopped Solids” which is really extremely livable but man I really miss apples and crunchy veggies. One more week and I can have crunchy things and I am so excited about it. My proportions are still tiny. And proportion control is king bc it I eat even one bite too many I’m going to be very, very sorry. I still haven’t puked even if I’ve wished I could more than once. It’s good for my hernia repair that I haven’t though. I do NOT want to tear that up!

Mostly I’m learning what foods my body likes and what foods are not okay. It was my birthday a few days back and while my birthday cake tasted every bit as amazing as ever, it makes me feel like crap for a good 2 hours after eating it. I’m finding that’s pretty common. If I probably shouldn’t eat it, it’s going to make me feel like mud even if I eat it slow and not too much. And I pay attention to that feeling bc it helps reinforce that this is something that isn’t worth it if it’s gonna make me miserable! They said I could have some taste bud change too and so far I hadn’t seen much of that with savory foods but I’m noticing it now mostly with sweets. Some things just don’t taste right or they’re way, way too sweet and they make me feel like crud so I’m just passing on them instead of sneaking a bite or two.

I can drink carbonation!!! Some people can and some just never can again post surgery. Given my love affair with Diet Coke which I was really missing, I was afraid. But with my dieticians permission, I tried it and carbonation has always settled my stomach when I was sick and that apparently hasn’t changed. And sipping a caffeine free Diet Pepsi (when it’s too late for caffeine) or a Diet Coke is incredibly gratifying and it doesn’t cost me any calories at all and it doesn’t hurt my stomach so I am a very happy camper. I’m still only having a single glass a couple times a week but it’s lovely.

My weight loss is slowing down some so I’ve started trying to increase my exercise and activity levels to try to get it back up where I want it! Have to wait another week to see if it’s working. I knew my body would start to fight back but I really hoped it would wait a while longer but oh well.

I’ve lost enough weight I’m having to use belts to keep my pants from falling off and having to shop my closet for smaller clothes. So this week I made a purchase of an item I haven’t wanted in my living space since high school. That’s right, I purchased and installed a full length mirror bc I need one to check the fit on things when I pull them out of the depths of my closet. I spent years avoiding mirrors bc they were very bad for my mental health so this is kinda big.

3 More Days of Purees

Hi Guys!

Sorry I dropped off the face of the planet there for a bit! Life was interfering but hopefully I’m getting back in the swing of things! So some updates:

I cannot tell you how grateful I was to start purées. I went to one of my favorite Mediterranean places and got a large order of my favorite hummus and their amazing baba ghanoush (sp??) and I had leftovers from that for the next week plus! Scrambled eggs have never been so exciting.

There have been some rough spots. I had to learn what full feels like again. Over eating is dramatically unpleasant and uncomfortable for hours afterwards so I am very careful about my portion sizes now and I’ve got a decent eye for how much I can eat. And I serve myself in my tiny bowls and leave the rest behind in the kitchen so I am not tempted to take even a single bite more than I should bc it’s not worth the pain. Think ONE egg scrambled with like a tsp of cheese and I’m completely full for the next several hours. 1/4-1/2 cup is about the limit.

Absolutely no beverages allowed 15 mins before to 30 mins after eating. That’s been a toughie. I used to drink a ton while I ate but it does not make my stomach feel nice if I do it so I leave my water glass in the kitchen too now so I don’t forget and reflex drink.

The other hard thing has been the swelling from my very large hiatus hernia repair has made the passage of food from my esophagus to my stomach very slow and difficult. I’m told this will improve over the next month or two as the swelling continues to go down. But if I do not take tiny bites and space them out very far apart then I wind up with the food stuck in my throat and it’s very painful and I have to just sit there and wait for it to slowwwwwly go down. It’s not pleasant. I now eat with my kids baby spoons so I don’t take bites that are too big for me.

I am 11 days into purées and today I’m officially sick of this crap and I want new food. I’ve done a good job getting really creative w seasoning and cheese combos to try to make my scrambled eggs different every day. And different soups and different hummus flavors etc. but I’m done with it now. I want crunchy veggies badly. Lol Next week I get to move to soft chopped solids which sounds amazing. Slowly, slowly I get closer to eating real food.

According to my doc my priorities right now are 1. get enough water (60+oz a day), 2. get enough protein (40+g a day) and then get all my supplements in. I think I’m doing okay on the first two but finding room in my tiny stomach for all those pills is proving difficult. I’m improving but I’m not where I should be yet.

Oh and I finally had my post op follow up w the doc. In roughly the last month I’m down 27.6 lbs and my capris are in dire need of a belt. So progress!

Also on the list of foods that don’t suck: Jello Sugar Free Pudding cups in Dark Chocolate and Chocolate Vanilla Swirl are my friends. And they’re totally legal on the diet. So there.

5 more days until Purées

Just 5 more days of this hell, y’all. Purées includes beautiful things like hummus and even soft scrambled eggs. You have no idea how exciting that is. I’m having to force myself to eat right now bc I am so tired of protein supplements at this point I would rather just go hungry.

In other news as of Tuesday, in the 3 weeks since I started the Pre Op Diet I have lost:

 1" off my hips

 1.75" off my waist

1.25" off my thigh

2.5" off my upper stomach

.75" off my chest

1.5" off my arm

.75" off my calf

That upper stomach and arm loss is nothing short of amazing bc that is the two most stubborn fat spots on my body and I swear they never move, so that I’ve lost the most there is incredible and wonderful. 

I want to tell you my pain is better but I would be lying. My incisions are healing beautifully and starting to itch obnoxiously which is a good sign in terms of healing but annoying. 

I cannot overstate my gratitude for some of the sisters from my church. Today one came and not only took my big kids to school for me, she took my beautiful baby that I cannot lift to put in her crib to her house to play all day so I could just rest. And then a second sister came over while the kids were gone and did the dishes, vacuumed, picked up and did a whole load of laundry and even folded and put it away. The company was lovely and the help was simply amazing. I am so blessed and I feel so loved. 

But for real, y’all, gaze upon the gloriousness that awaits my tastebuds next week: 

One Week Post Op

I don’t have time for the full post I had wanted and planned for today. My Grandfather entered hospice this morning and the conflicting grief and relief (I have desperately hated watching him suffer) are frequently overwhelming. 

I’m still alive. My pain levels are still much higher than I anticipated but they are improving. Current plan Bc I’m almost out of pain meds (they refilled me.... with a very tiny refill....) is to only take them at night so I can get to sleep. 

Right now I desperately hate my diet. I hate alternative protein. I would kill to just eat meat and eggs like God intended. Hell I would delight in beans and legumes. I like beans and legumes. Hell if I could marinate and grill it I would eat tofu right now. I just want something that TASTES RIGHT. I’m so desperate on more than one occasion I’ve taken a tiny to small bite of something, chewed it to bits and then spit it out in the trash can just so I can have a taste of something that doesn’t suck. 

I have also reaffirmed my hatred of “sugar free” products. They taste weird to out and out bad. Once in a great while you can find something (Diet Coke being the glaring exception to this rule) that doesn’t suck but generally my policy is I would rather have a far smaller serving of real sugar and stick to dark chocolate (less sugar!) than have all I want of the fake sugar crap. I’m definitely losing tolerance for things that taste nasty and would rather just starve than eat that crap. But I have to heal so I’m making myself choke down the bare minimums. 

I can no longer join my family at meal times where there’s something I desperately want on the menu. I used to just sip broth or whatever but I can’t eat w them bc I can’t explain to my 5 year old why I’m crying over her pizza. 

This is temporary. This too shall pass. But damn and wow it’s passing like a kidney stone. 

In good news my incision sites are healing very well. They told me 3-5 holes and he did it in 3. My surgeon is an artist. The biggest incision he put perfectly inline with the lines in my belly button so when it heals you won’t even be able to see it. The nausea is gone. The heartburn is gone. And the abdominal pain is improving. Slowly but it is. 

And in better news - it’s working. I measured tonight. I’ll give the full thing tomorrow but usually it takes me months to lose inches. 3 weeks and I have one or more inches gone in every single location I measure. 

This hell sucks. But it’s temporary and unlike every other crash diet on the planet I actually have extremely good odds of this not coming back. Ever. So keep going. The only way out is through. 

Oh and the other fun bonus- for 10 more days I get to keep stabbing myself with one of these every night. It’s a blood thinner to keep me from clotting while I heal. You’d think they were being ultra cautious bc they’re dealing with fluffy people or something. 

Kinda fun- after I give the shot, I push the plunger one more time and this like extra layer to the barrel you couldn’t even tell was there pops out to cover the needle so it’s safe to throw away! Spiffy!

 

Post Op: Day 4

Today it feels like I’m finally making some progress. I only had to take my anti nausea meds first thing this morning and then I didn’t touch them again for the rest of the day which is amazing. I am still incredibly dependent on my pain meds. But I spent like 10 consecutive hours sitting up on the sofa, obviously interspersed with walking around and eating or what have you. But yesterday sitting up for 2 straight hours was brutal, and I had to go lie down afterwards. I’m not saying it felt good or was super fun today but I did it. And I folded 4 baskets of laundry (that were brought to me) while I was at it so I almost felt like a productive and contributing citizen once again.

We will see how I feel tomorrow about everything I did today. I’ve had to be very dedicated to my pain meds. The “every 4-6 hours” has been like “oh thank god just 10 more mins and I can have more”. It’s just Tylenol 3 but it’s my friend.

I also made some progress on increasing my caloric intake up closer to what it’s supposed to be. This afternoons experiment involved adding some of the Unjury Unflavored Protein Powder to some tomato soup to see if I could sneak some extra protein in there..... the results were.... mixed.

1. Unflavored does not mean flavorless, it’s odd and hard to describe but my original plan was add 1 scoop of protein (worth like 20g) to my 4oz serving of tomato soup. That’s where we ran into problem:

2. That is one big butt scoop! Like wowza that’s a lot of powder! Geez! I don’t have small hands people.

It was like almost 50/50 soup and powder and the powder initially lumped up and wouldn’t mix smooth no matter how much I whisked it (and yes I checked the temperature was well below the 140 mark the instructions are emphatic I must stay below), and with that off flavor I was not sure I was going to manage to get that down. But I added another 1/4 cup of soup and then went to town w the seasonings making my classic Campbell’s tomato into a tomato basil bisque type experience. It mostly hid the flavor in the end. I at least managed to eat it. 

You might be able to hide a whole scoop in the entire can of condensed plus can of milk maybe but if I try that again I’ll defin cut the powder way, way back and go from there. 

Post Op: Day 3

I feel like I was beautifully prepared for the sleeve portion of my surgery and completely unprepared for the hernia repair. Also the first couple days I had this lovely little On-Q pain ball thing - basically it’s full of local anesthetic and had a couple little catheters going into my guts numbing things continously for the first couple days post op. Well my lovely ball ran dry and the catheters had to be removed (amazingly that part didn’t hurt at all) but now I definitely have more deep gut pain than I did before. So yay it worked, boo it’s all gone. Lol

My nausea is less today for which I’m grateful. Let me introduce you to the bane of my existence at the moment:

You see that wee little medicine cup there? 30ml or approx 1 oz. I drink one of those every 15 mins when I’m awake to stay hydrated. I really miss just being able to chug my ice water with a straw, thankyouverymuch. But nope. That’s it. And I’m not allowed to drink water like 30 mins before or after a meal. So when I tried some protein powder “chicken soup” mix thing today, I couldn’t rinse that taste out of my mouth between spoonfuls. Ugh. When I ate all I could stand (about 3 out of 8 oz) I actually went and rinsed my mouth out with water and spat in the sink just for some relief. 

It’s going to be an interesting couple weeks working my way up to the recommended intake for this stage of the diet. I’ll heal faster and better with more protein in my diet which is about my only motivation right now. Never thought I’d want to keep just sipping water but I’m kinda scared of food right now. I hate the sipping but the pain is such that I’m scared to do anything more than sip bc it will hurt. Badly. 

Tho I almost cried tonight when the rest of my family had pizza and I made the mistake of coming out of my room just in time to get hit with the smell and see that amazing melted cheese and it was only the promise that one bite would send me back to the hospital right now that kept me from “just a taste”. 

This cute little goober likes to sneak away from Papa and Grandma and come visit Mommy in her bed. I mostly curl into the fetal position to protect my tummy from her climbing but she’s learned she can climb my head and shoulders without too much protest (I couldn’t lift to get her off of my right now if I wanted to) so tonight she wrapped herself around my head and sang for a bit: 

Post Op - 2 Days Later

Note: I’m still on drugs so there’s little to no proof reading atm. Sorry. 

Hey y’all! Sorry I haven’t posted sooner/more. I’m okay just kinda got my butt kicked. Apparently most people with the sleeve are home the next day and need very little pain meds. But I also had a hiatus hernia repair done while they were in there. What’s that you say? Well we found it when we did the pre op scope to see if there were any surprises. Ya know how your esophagus passes through your diaphragm (that big muscle that moves up and down to make you breathe)? It’s supposed to be a pretty small passage way. Well apparently having babies really did make me puke my guts up bc mine was “really, just extremely large” and they were emphatic that it had to be surgically fixed and soon even if I decided against the sleeve I would still have to have surgery to fix that. And if you google a sleeve is supposed to take just 90 mins to perform but a hiatus hernia repair is more like 2-3 hours and apparently most people stay in the hospital more like 3 days after that one. 

So Bc of the hernia repair I’ve had significantly more pain than I was anticipating. It’s not like my poor diaphragm ever gets a break from the constant labor of making me breathe so it hasn’t been super pleased with me. And it frequently hurts to swallow like down in my chest where the hernia repair is, it’s like no I do not want to stretch and allow this sip of water through. I’m still mad at you. 

Nausea isn’t too terrible today. Had to work pretty dang hard that first day to keep from puking and tearing up my freshly repaired hernia. But I tell you the threat of having to have this fixed, again has worked wonders for my ability to breathe through the nausea. 

So I’m home where sleeping through the night with out being woken every other hour to check vitals and draw blood or whatever the hell they want to do me now all night long is just lovely. My biggest problem is my adorable 21 month old who doesn’t understand why I’m not picking her up or why I won’t let her bounce, climb or sit on my belly. Good news is she decided to love me and find me acceptable anyways. 

I’m hoping that if I continue to be good and play nice my body will forgive me soon. Right now it’s been clear liquids yesterday and today. I’m drinking from a little 30ml medicine up. Supposed to drink one of those every 15 mins when I’m awake. And it takes some doing to keep all that down so I’m not quite sure how I’m supposed to manage thick liquids starting tomorrow. Think I’m going to have to work my way up to it for sure.  

Pre Op Liquid Diet: Day 14

I did it. 14 days of protein shakes and no real food. I survived. I kicked it’s butt. Mostly. I am incredibly grateful that that part is over. LOL

Tomorrow is The Day!!! I’m almost all prepped and ready. Maybe I’ll be able to sleep tonight but the odds aren’t great. Lol Either way I’ll definitely sleep tomorrow! The drugs’ll make sure of that. If I can, I’ll post. If I’m too drugged, I won’t!

See ya on the flip side, y’all!

If you wanna know what exhausted, hopeful determination looks like, this is it:

Pre Op Liquid Diet: Day 13

I’m at the point in my pre op prep where my quality of life is being significantly impaired. And it’s not just that I had to stare down my entire family eating delicious hot, fresh garlic bread (the rest of the big Sunday dinner looked great too but I woulda killed for that garlic bread tonight), it’s not the 5 millionth shake (which btw do not contain nearly enough fiber). No, right now its the fact I’m not allowed to have Advil or Melatonin the week before surgery and there is definitely a reason why I take those pills.

One of the “upsides” to rapidly regaining weight after having my 2nd kid (I’m the only pregnant woman I know who has to work to not lose weight the entire pregnancy) due to extenuating circumstances is that it makes the ways it impacts your life really obvious. And the first and biggest thing that being extra fluffy does is make everything hurt. Your back, hips, knees and ankles are Not Happy. And I usually buy their forgiveness on the bad days with Advil so that I can sleep. I cannot do this right now. Bc NSAIDs increase bleeding during surgery. And not having them stinks. A lot. And bc melatonin is on the list of natural supplements that you have to stop pre op as well bc they can interact with drugs in the OR, I can’t even try just knocking myself out and sleeping through the pain. Which is to say I want a medal for getting me and 3 kids to church this morning on about 2.5 hours of sleep.

Whine whine moan whine carry on. Yes I would like cheese to go with my whine and okay I’m done.

JUST ONE MORE DAY, Y’ALL!!! One more!! We can do one!

I’m not excited about the pain of surgery but I am so excited to finally get this done. It almost doesn’t feel real that the day is almost really here but I’m amazingly ecstatic about it! Lol

On Congressmen, Religious Beliefs and Priorities Of

I need to express my thoughts. I’ve seen a number of posts now on FB by people freaking out that some individuals were sworn into Congress using the Quran instead of the Bible (side note: one was sworn in on a law book which amused me to no small end) and the question that really set me off the most, I think, was one asking, “Do you really believe they have America’s best interest at heart?”

And I’m going to refrain from sharing my initial reply as it was both profane and inflammatory which is not conducive to the rest of my thoughts and start with: Yes. Because them saying they are Muslim no more makes them evil than you saying you’re Christian makes you Christlike. Lest we ever forget that both the KKK and Westboro Baptist both claim to be Christian organizations. But they are generally considered extremists and “not real Christians” by mainstream Christianity. Well, guess what? That’s how ISIS and the Taliban are viewed by most Muslims!

I feel for the Muslims when yet another news report about the extremists hits the TV like I feel for me when one of the “Mormon Separatists” groups hits the news. It’s this *facepalm and cringe*, “No, we are not related or remotely like those crazy psychos. So please, don’t lump us together”.

It reminds me of when JFK was elected and there were people freaking out because he was Catholic *Gasp & clutch pearls!* So clearly he was secretly an agent of the Vatican and would take orders from the pope and not put the American people first! Sound familiar?

That was 1960. This is 2019. We have to be better. Learn from it. Don’t repeat it.

One of the core tenents of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as stated in the Articles of Faith (a document written by Joseph Smith for a newspaper article that asked what it was those “Mormons” believed) - Verse 11 states: “We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may”.

I believe this and I will fight for this. For the respect and dignity of those good people in this world who worship whatever higher power they chose, or not as may be the case. Because I have not forgotten that once my people were not allowed this privilege. That once my people had an extermination order issued against them by the state of Missouri. That it was legal and encouraged to hunt down and kill members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints because of fear and bigotry. And we begged the President of the United States, Martin Van Buren, for relief and he did nothing. That because of this fear and this bigotry and misinformation, in the dead of winter, my people had to stage a mass exodus and leave their homes and flee a thousand miles across the plains to a desert on the coast of a dead salt lake to find sanctuary. I have not forgotten the thousands whose lives were lost on that trek.

“Farewell Nauvoo” by Glenn Hopkinson

So yes, I can believe that a good person who reads a different book of scripture and worships a different God can have American’s best interest at heart.

Pre Op Liquid Diet: Day 12

I’m on to them, y’all. They claim the pre op liquid diet is to shrink your liver so surgery is faster and easier and you have practice not eating when it comes time that eating a single bite could put you in the hospital. And yeah those are both partially true. The full truth tho is that they’re torturing you with a special hell known as nothing but protein shakes so that when you get a look at the comparatively lax post op liquid diet, it looks so gloriously varied and there’s just so many beautiful options, that it looks simply glorious and I bet their compliance rate goes through the roof. Bc let me tell y’all that the first time I got a look at this list of options*:

There was a whole lot of “please gag me with a spoon”. Now I’m like omg excited about puréed and strained soups which are usually my least favorite kind! Fat free canned cream of whatever soup- something I’ve never eaten straight before! Now I’m excited! Then I was like-  That’s not something you eat straight, that’s an ingredient to a good casserole! Lol 

Also post op they encourage us to make the protein shakes more flavorful. We can’t add fruit but we can purée with ice and add things like powdered peanut butter, sugar free syrups, cocoa powder or pumpkin pie spice! 

And all these things I would have once turned my nose up at now all look and sounds gloriously amazing!! Like I can’t wait to have surgery so I can have all these amazing options!! LOL It’s wrong y’all. This is what 12 days of this diet have done to my mind! 

I went to one of my family’s favorite bbq joints today and didn’t eat a single bite of anything. I kinda want a medal. Lol 

2 more days. Just 2!! We can do this. 10 more shakes! I’m gonna make it! The end is near! But in a good way! Lol 

*please note that’s not the full diet description that’s just 1 screen of 9 from that portion of the nutritionists presentation. 

Pre Op Liquid Diet: Day 10

Only 4 days left on this round of liquid diet!! I am so sick of drinking these shakes that that number is really, very exciting!

Today to try to get my calorie count up where it should be I drank like 2 more shakes. And part of me is like going I should be “Yay Food” but it’s more like “Omg more of this crap?!” I really want more flavors but the issue I’m having right now is I wasn’t desperate enough to try the funky flavors before bc as I’ve mentioned I only drink these things usually a couple times a week and now that I am I can’t find them in the stores. Sams used to have a huge display with like 5-6 different flavors just of the Premiere shakes but they did away with it for the holidays and stripped it back to just chocolate and vanilla. In the last week I’ve searched Sams, Walmart and Costco to no avail. I’ll try Target next it’s just that there’s limits to the toddler’s patience. So far I’ve been avoiding powders bc I hate gritty, chalky more than words can tell but I may get that desperate and very soon.

I really can’t over state how much I don’t really like these things. I mean the “good ones” I still drink using a straw that I put at the back of my mouth and then chug it as fast as possible so I don’t have to really taste it. I am genuinely concerned about post op when I’m supposed to drink these things for 2 weeks but I won’t be allowed to use a straw, so I have to sip it and let it coat my whole tongue. And it’s going to take time bc my stomach will be a 150ml (approx 5oz) pouch and the shakes are more like 11oz. So that’s many sessions of sipping just to get down a single shake. I’m like can I add more protein powder to make it more concentrated so I don’t have to eat as much of this stuff?? I mean sure I could just starve and lose even more but I really do like my organs, muscles and hair etc so I’m not in a big hurry to have my body eat those instead of my fat.

I’m hopeful it will be okay for 2 reasons: 1. Post op lots of people’s tastes buds are different so maybe I won’t care! And 2. I ordered the starter kit from Unjury last night. It’s a medical grade protein my surgeon’s dietician highly recommends and it claims to be the best tasting protein. They have 2 prepared options and then a bunch of powders. Everything from strawberry to chicken soup. And let me tell you the savory options sound amazing. I’m so tired of sweet. So so tired. But so the kit has 2 of everything to taste and then I know what to order more of. Worst case scenario I got to have a bunch of variety which sounds glorious about now and best case, it really is better and I find something that’s actually Good and not just “good”. So *fingerscrossed*, y’all.

Today’s Protein Shake: 
This is another chocolate option. I keep debating whether yesterday’s Premiere option or this one is my favorite chocolate so far and I can’t decide. The biggest difference is that one is 30g of protein and this one is only 20. Either way they sell both in the big cases at Costco and Sams!

UPDATE: Oh and by the way I busted out the tape measure last night and I’m 1.25 inches down off my hips, waist, and upper tummy! (It wasn’t just in my head!) 

Pre Op Liquid Diet: Day 9

Only SIX days left of Liquid Diet Round 1! WHOOP!

Today we dealt with Pre Op Labs. My paperwork says 7-10 days before surgery I have to call the hospital and set up with them to go do my pre op labs. Well Day 10 was a Saturday, and then New Year's happen so today, Day 7 was The Day. So I called first thing this morning and they went "You wanna come in today or tomorrow?" This afternoon was clear so we made the voyage down there. 1 hour and 40 mins to pee in a cup, draw 4 vials of blood (these people have consistently good vampires for which I am grateful), do an EKG and get all my history and meds etc with an EXTREMELY crabby toddler along for the ride (there were fishies in registration and life was good, upstairs there were no fishies and life was not okay, even the phone and M&Ms would not make it okay. Apparently the girl likes her fish). Pro tip that will make your next EKG go nice and fast (as they should be) - make sure the individual leads are firmly plugged into the machine..... Word.

Also I sat down and started going through my mountain of paperwork I have accumulated from the doctor. And apparently I've been starving myself slightly more than necessary. I had it in my head that it was 500-700 calories a day. Apparently its actually 700-900 calories. Whoopsies. Had the rest of it right at least. In good news I haven't felt weak or shaky and no headaches in spite of my under-eating this week.  I'm handling the taste of the shakes a little better today which is nice since I now have to make sure I drink 1-2 more of those a day than I was before. *sigh*

In my defense when I did my Pre Op Consult with the RN at the docs office and we went through that mountain of paperwork AGAIN, she said that if I was drinking the Premier shakes mostly I would mostly need like 3 of them instead of 5. She went so far as to say I could drink a half a one as a snack if I was starving. So I just went with it. I drank 3 shakes a day and if I was hungry I went with one of the 100 calorie alternate brand shakes to get me through to bed time. Having done the math myself just now at 160 calories each I HAVE to drink at least 4.3 of these things a day just to hit 700 so we're just gonna bless her heart on her math skills.

I am not a liquid diet person. I know there are people that drink protein shakes like ALL THE TIME. I am NOT those people. I do keep some in the fridge b/c I'm a single mother of 3 and sometimes when I'm running, I feed the kids and forget to feed me (at least I remembered the children, right??). And all the fast things are sky high in carbs and/or fat. And skipping meals gives me migraines so if I have to grab something and go the shake is the better choice usually. But thats a couple times a week max. Not 4-5 times a day. And I LOVE vegetables. And fruit. I really do. And I miss them so bad right now. Bad.

Surgery is ONE week from today, y'all!

Today’s Shake:
This shake has been my go to in the fridge for the last year shake. It has the most protein of any of the shakes I drink and the flavor is pretty decent. AND I can get it in the jumbo cases for cheap all the time at both Costco and Sam's Club.

Pre Op Liquid Diet: Day 8

I apologize for not posting on Day 7 but it was New Years Eve. Also I was in a rotten mood about my eating. Day 6 I was thinking this diet wasn’t that bad now I had gotten used to it. Day 7 I hate it with a passion and would give all the things to eat some freaking vegetables. I mean pickles have almost no calories. Why can’t I have a damn pickle?!? *sigh*

Bc will power is a muscle that gets stronger when you exercise it and I’d rather exercise it now when screwing up means almost nothing vs sending me back to the hospital post op. Yes I am here to shrink my liver, but I am also here to practice before the big day. It’s sucks but if I had an alternative with an acceptable outcome I would be doing that and not this. So.

Day 8: I watched my family eat one of my all time favorite comfort foods. Onion dip and ruffles potato chips. I never make that unless I have a crowd to feed it to bc it it’s one of those rare foods that just short circuits my brain and I have extreme difficulty making myself eat a reasonable portion size of it. It’s one of the ultimate “just one more bite” foods for me. It was almost painful to not eat any of that. Not a single bite. But I did it. Even when my toddler was doing her best to literally shove food into my mouth, I just fed her and not me. Kid is a helluva food pusher. Lol But she’s 21 months and deep in the “Monkey See Monkey Do” phase and Mommy feeds her all the time so....

Today I had a hard time bc for some reason no matter which flavor I drank the chemical aftertastes of the shakes just seemed overwhelming and I had a hard time making myself consume the minimum calories. Had to remind myself my self control will get short circuited by my biology if I start actually starving myself instead of just severely restricting. Got my 3rd shake of the day down.

Back Story: Part 1
So how do you get to the point where you’re willing to pay someone to mutilate your guts and permanently screw with your digestive system? Well the first time I lost 55lbs I was 16 years old. I did it in like 3.5 months doing the Atkins thing. I even cheated on the weekends. But the weight fell off. Over the next year and a half I gained about 20 of it back. Then I started college, had a ridiculous series of injuries and a few other medical problems that led to me taking steroids for like a year and a half and the end result was all the weight I lost back plus another 25-30 pounds. And that’s basically the story of weight loss life. I have found a dozen ways to lose weight that work well for me. At least for a while. They all become less effective the longer I’m on them as my body ramps up the fight. All told I’ve lost 70 lbs, 60, 50, 40 twice, 30 a couple more times and 10-20 another close to a dozen times. Every single time the end result long term no matter how I fight it or what I do, the second I stop beating it off with a stick, even if I’m careful, it all comes back and it brings friends it met on vacation and I wind up 10-15 lbs heavier than when I started.

I’ve been flat out terrified the last 5 years or so to even try to diet bc I couldn’t afford to get any larger. I was way past the thresholds I had set as my “this far and no further” lines. Then I read this article on Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/fat-officially-incurable-according-to-science/ and I was mad. Then furious. Then depressed. Disbelieving. You name it. But I started reading the source articles. That was really depressing bc they’re annoyingly legitimate. But it started me seriously pondering surgery for the first time.

I’ll write more back story later. It’s past my bedtime. Y’all have a good night.

Update! I forgot today’s shake!
Actually I drank this yesterday. This is the best vanilla shake I’ve found so far: (read:the only one I can drink more than once). And it’s pretty decent. Reminds me of the old Slim Fast Protein Vanilla shakes I drank back in college in the early ‘00s.  It’s pretty tasty but currently hard to find in large containers.

Upcoming Surgery - Pre Op Diet Day 6

I've really been on this path for the last several years and I'll back story you later on this, I promise, but right now today here is whats up and what the plan looks like. Mostly to answer questions I've gotten over on my FB.

Today is Day 6 of my 14 Day Pre Op Liquid Diet. 6 days in the Hamburger Hallucinations seem to have stopped which is nice but I still miss eating.

What does this liquid diet look like? 
Right now I can have water, tea, clear broth, sugar free jello and protein shakes. Basically the goal is zero carbs, zero fat but some protein and lots of vitamins to protect my muscles and organs. I could have a variety of non soda sugar free drinks but I find most of those NASTY and I don't drink coffee so thats my list. I can add lemon or lime to my water or if I want to I can infuse fruit if I get ambitious. So far I've been too lazy and afraid I'll be tempted to eat the fruit out of the infused water like I usually do.

The Game Plan
Right now, we do this liquid diet for another 8 days. On January 8th I will have surgery. The plan is a Sleeve Gastrectomy. I will have absolutely nothing by mouth the day of surgery. Surgery is Day 0. Day 1 & 2 after that I can have clear liquids. Water, broth, and sugar free jello. Then I get to do another 14 days of the high protein liquid diet. Basically the exact same thing I'm doing now. For 14 more days. *deep breath*. LOL Its so weird to not eat, y'all.

THEN after 14 days I get to upgrade..... to purees. Think non-chunky baby food (no smoothies). Ooooh ahhh. My blender is gonna get a heckuva work out, y'all. THEN after 2 weeks of that, I get to upgrade all the way to Mushy Chunks for another 2 weeks (its sad that that sounds completely amazing. I see my new InstaPot getting one heckuva workout). And THEN and only then can I maybe just maybe take a teeny tiny bite of REAL FOOD a solid 2 months after starting this lovely adventure. Mind you I'll only be eating roughly 1/4 cup of food at a time post op. The little pouch that is all that is left of my stomach is going to be a whole 150mL (approx 5 oz).

Today's Shake:
Also I feel compelled to document my .... adventures trying to find drinkable (in my opinion) protein shakes (only certain ones are approved by my doc). Here's todays candidate. I got it for free in a bag of samples from my doc. Its .... interesting. I'm glad I didn't pay money for it. If you're in to SUPER CONCENTRATED sugar free kool-aid fruit punch with a nice strong artificial sweetener "dry your mouth out and make you pucker face" aftertaste then I highly recommend it. Personally I'm gonna have to be REALLY, really tired of the milky kinda shakes before I drink one of these again. *shudder*

So its been a while

This post is kinda a page break. Its been 3 years since I've posted on this blog. A few lifetimes have passed. I'm probably not going to give y'all a bridge. I'm sorry. I may or may not change my mind in the future. But I have words about this surgery thing I'm doing now so I'm going to blog about it.

Familial Bullies

Earlier today I had an issue with a family member. Something was taken out of context and it has now been resolved and I have no hard feelings towards this person. My purpose in writing this is post is not to shame them but to examine my reaction and the logic and beliefs that lead to that reaction. And explore my feelings regarding feedback received on my reaction. So maybe I can sleep. 

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I'm going to say things that are going to tick people off bc I am going to admit to a shocking fact: Like any other large group of people, my extended family contains a few bullies. That's not what we call them but that's what they are. 

I was taugh as a child the correct way to react to these bullies is to not react. "They can't get your goat if they don't know where it's tied". And any reaction to a familial bully was regarded as failure. Either it's your fault bc you let them get your goat, or you stooped to their level by responding at all, so shame on you. You should know better and do better. Double shame if you stand up for yourself in a public forum. How dare you make the family look bad (bc bullying in public doesn't look bad at all). 

And then you tell every single other person in the family and all of your friends what the bully did rather than actually discuss it with the offender to their face or call them on it. And everybody you tell is properly horrified hearing about how you were mistreated so your feelings get external validation from the whole world but not the bully.

Now here is the fun contradiction: I was also taugh that you should stand up for yourself to bullies at school. That was good. Particularly if it was physical.  But somehow doing the same thing at home is bad and wrong. 

Or maybe it wasn't so much "with family" as it is if the bully "uses words". If they're using words to beat you to death, you should just take it bc you're better than them. But if they use fists by golly punch 'em right back and harder. 

Now that I say this out loud it's amazingly backwards. 

But I digress. 

I've watched this pattern w my family for the last 30 years. I have decided it's grossly unhealthy. (Why yes I do have a keen mind for the obvious). Most of my extended family refuses to be in the same room w the rest of the family for anything less than a funeral. The majority of them moved as far as possible from the rest and regard it as an excellent mental health choice.

I completely understand their rationale but I do think that it's sad. 

The rare few that have managed to maintain relationships with the difficult members of the family have been the ones that actually vocalize and are willing to challenge the bullies head on. 

Well, there's one other option for those that stick around and that seems to be a couple who embrace their victimhood, learned helplessness and codependence, if we are calling it like it is. And today we are. I feel for them deeply and hope they get some therapy bc it's miserable to live in that place. 

I've done a bit of all three. I started in the last group but thankfully got enough therapy and self esteem to get out of it mostly. I used to be a serious doormat. 

I've flat out walked away for extended periods of time w my extended family relationships. I justify it as a mental health practice but I don't like it. 

Bc at the end of the day these are people I love who are important to people who are important to me. And for better or worse there is an attachment there and it makes me sad when they are sad and lonely and don't understand why they are all alone. Bc they didn't get taught right. And they don't know how to have a healthy relationship and they're never gonna know if somebody doesn't teach them. 

So basically, my compromise is this: I'm willing to stay in contact, on a more limited but not completely alien basis, but I'm standing up for myself. Every time. I'll deflect and keep it brief if at all possible. I want assertive but not drama. But if challenged, I refuse to back down. I believe in fighting fair so no name calling or insults, and rational arugement is required. And I will stand up for myself even if it means doing so in a public forum. Bc every time I've backed down, I've regretted it later.  

(This is not to say that every person I stand up to is a big bully and I'm always right). 

I dealt with quite a lot of bullying in middle school and high school. For years I diligently did my dead level best to do as I was taught and not let them get my goat and when they did, I blamed the victim, me, for allowing it to happen.* I cried a lot of tears at home. 

The thing that actually worked? Challenging them head on. When I stood up for myself, they backed off. They never did it again. 

Granted w a social bully it's a bit easier bc I don't care if I decimate the relationship. I shouldn't decimate them personally bc I don't want to be a bad person and they're children of God too. Even if it's gratifying...

But I think it takes more careful finesse when it's family bc you don't just want the bad to stop, you want the good to take its place. So scorched earth tactics are probably not your best bet. 

I get an interesting mix of reactions to my compromise. Some cheer me on. Some have almost a crab bucket reaction- I'm shamed for stooping to their level by reacting to verbal bullies. How dare I challenge the status quo. Some tell me I shouldn't bother. I can't change anything. 

But as much as I hope I can change things, it's more about being okay with me than it is with changing them. I have no control over them. If I give up and walk away, I give up an important part of me. I think my role in this life is to love, nurture and teach as best I can. It's hard to do any of those while shunning people. 

I refuse to go back to the crab bucket and become a door mat once again. I have to stand up for myself. It's hard. It's not my first reaction for myself even if it's my very first reaction for somebody else. 

So maybe I will have a positive influence and maybe I won't but I'll do it on my terms and I will endeavor to model positive, healthy boundaries for my kids. 

And that's something I can live with. 

*I think it's grossly wrong to blame the victim when they shouldn't be hunting your damn goat in the first place. That said, yes do try not to let them know your weak points if at all possible bc there will always be bullies but we don't have to make the butthead's job easy

Recipes: Veggies & Sides

If I were a food blogger this would get posted with gorgeous pictures and lots of directions, but I'm not! So I'm typing up some of my favorite recipes for my friend and I figured I would throw them up here for posterities sake (.... and so I don't lose them forever....). Apparently there are a lot so I will do them in batches and maybe someday I will come back and add pics like a big kid.

And yes I would probably die if I couldn't have garlic and EVOO and I ALWAYS use kosher salt when I'm cooking. I'll use iodized when baking but its all kosher when I'm on the stove top. Just FYI.

Hiromi's Green Beans

1 lb green beans, trimmed and rinsed
1/2 medium onion, thinly sliced
1-2 T EVOO
1 tsp mustard seeds
1 T Coconut Powder (that is not a typo, you get it in packets at the asian food store. I got mine at 99 Ranch Market)
Salt and pepper

Blanch the green beans in salt water for 2-5 mins depending on your desired level of doneness. (I do not do an ice water bath to shock them, I just drain them). In a large skill it at medium high heat, add the mustard seeds to the pan and toast for 2 mins. Add 1 T EVOO to pan, add onion, salt & pepper, saute onions until golden. Add green beans and toss. Add coconut powder. Add salt to taste. I add the extra T of EVOO if I need it if things are dry while I'm cooking.


These are seriously some of the best green beans I've ever had in my life and they reheat good so I tend to do them in like 2 lb batches.



How I do Quinoa:
1 c. quinoa (I prefer white) - well rinsed in a strainer
2 c Chicken broth (or 1 can)
2 cloves garlic (you can increase or decrease this as desired)
1 T EVOO

Rinse the quinoa well. Mince the garlic. Heat the oil in a small sauce pan. Once hot add the garlic and toast for 2-3 mins until toasted. Then add the quinoa and chicken broth. Cover. Bring to boil, reduce to simmer and cook until liquid is absorbed approx 15-20 mins. Fluff with fork. You can add all sorts of things to this to compliment your main dish. You can add basil or mint or arugula, chopped nuts (possibly toasted), whatever sounds good. Its a 2:1 ratio of liquid to quinoa like rice. You can increase or decrease as desired to feed more people. 


Wilted Garlic Spinach 

This is so good even my kids eat it. And my picky friends. My father insists it would be better with bacon grease over EVOO...

1-2 T EVOO
2-4 cloves garlic minced
Fresh spinach (LOTS AND LOTS. Buy the big bags or giant containers from costco)
Salt
1/2 medium onion, small dice 

In a LARGE skillet or a big pot, heat the EVOO to medium high heat, add the onion, and start that cooking w/ a pinch of salt, then add the garlic when you get it chopped. Once the onion is nice and translucent and golden, add the spinach. If it all doesn't fit at once, add a lid, wait a couple minutes, add more spinach and toss until its all in there. Add kosher salt to taste as you go. Done!

Basic Green Beans/Asparagus

1 T Butter (optional, since I had Miss Dairy Allergy I skip it)
1-2 T EVOO
1 can chicken Broth
1 lb green beans or 1 bunch asparagus, washed and trimmed 

Melt butter in skillet w EVOO until its toasted and golden brown, Then add can of chicken broth, and green beans and pinch of salt. Cook until just fork tender. Adjust salt to taste. If its asparagus I like to have fresh lemon to juice or zest (or both) on top!

Roasted Broccoli

Bunch of broccoli, washed and trimmed into florets
EVOO
Salt
Minced Garlic 2-4 cloves


Heat your oven to 400. On a baking sheet spread out broccoli, drizzle with EVOO, sprinkle w/ salt and garlic, toss with your hands. Bake in oven 30-40 mins until tender. It will get pretty brown in spots. Don't freak this tastes fantastic. My sister who HATES and gags over broccoli will eat a piece and say its okay.


Variation w the broccoli that I did earlier this week and they loved: B/c I didn't want to heat up the oven in the summer heat - EVOO & garlic in a pan, toast for 1-2 mins, then add broccoli and saute until brown at points, then add a can of beef broth and cover w/ a lid, braise until stalk is fork tender, serve. It was really good. My family chowed it down. Even Dad ate it.

Grilled/Roasted Veggies 

This is one of those recipes that expands and contracts and does make tasty leftovers, esp on sandwiches and salads, so you can make a lot and eat it over a couple days, so add more or less veggies to your desired size spread.

1/2 - 1 Large onion cut in rings
1-2 zucchini cut in 1/2 inch sticks or spears
1-2 sweet peppers (red, orange, yellow, green take your pick of whatever looks good)
Sliced portabella mushroom caps would also be excellent if you want more
EVOO
Salt and pepper 

Optional toppings:
Basil
tomato
feta
balsamic vinegar


Roast the peppers under a broiler or on top of a gas burner or on a grill until skins are blackened, put in heat safe bowl, cover w/ plastic. Let cool in the steam until cool enough to handle. Use a paper towel and your hands to remove the skins. Remove seeds and stems and chop in slices.


The onions, zucchini and mushroom I slice to about 1/2 inch long slabs and drizzle w/ EVOO and a pinch of salt and pepper, then grill on both sides until tender w/ nice char marks (I usually do this w/ a grill pan on the stove b/c laziness).

All the veggies go on a tray. I like to drizzle them with balsamic, salt, diced tomatoes, and sprinkle chopped basil and feta on top (or have those on the side and let the picky people top them as desired). These are good straight. They're great on wraps, sandwiches, in salads, you name it. And they keep very well.


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Never before appreciated what a one trick pony I am with green veggies. lol. But considering I was raised w/ plain steamed (or frozen, or canned) w/ butter, this is sophisticated okay? lol

Jewelry Tools I Want/Need/Have

Part of my Brain Dump on the Dream Office/Craft Room/Studio series (Main Post) is a running list of jewelry making tools and supplies I want/need/have:

If I have all I want/need it it gets a **, If I have some/part it gets *.

1. Bench Pin
2. Third Hand
3. Omni Visor*
4. Jewelry Saw (and extra blades)
5. Big Kick (plus dies)*
6. Alcohol Inks*
7. Vintaj Patinas
8. ICE resin**
9. Those super fine glitter powder/embossing powder things
10. UTEE/Melt art
11. Melt Pot for Melt Art
12. Matte Medium
13. Dapping Block
14. Hammers/Mallets: Texture, Riveting**, standard**, chasing**, rawhide**,
15. Vibratory Tumbler
16. Disc Cutter
17. Pasta Machine**
18. Clay Oven (optional)
19. Clay & Nonplastic storage*
20. Wire (copper, brass, sterling, argentium, gold filled, Silver filled (?))*
21. Sheet Metal (Copper*, brass, Sterling)
22. Dremel*
23. Mandrels (ring*, plus variety of straight sizes)
24. Now Thats a Jig
25. Bench Clamp
26. Drill press
27. Firing Blocks*
28. Firing Tripod**
29. Pickle Pot**
30. Enamel Torch*
31. Jewelry Torch
32. Files/Reamers*
33. Liver of Sulfur
34. Enameling Powders*/Sifters*/KlyrFire*
35. Pyrex Beakers
36. Beads & Storage*
37. Findings & Storage* (open/closed/locking jump rings, split rings, ear wires, head pins, lobster/toggle clasps, extender chains, chain, bead caps, metal beads, filigrees, blanks, snap sets,
39. Black Project Trays and storage*
40. Enamel Progress Trays
41. Clay Tools (Tissue blade, rollers, work surface, mandrels, baking racks, plexiglass square).
42. Faceted stones/Glass
43. Calipers

44. Letter stamp sets (probably ImpressArt brand)

My Dream Office/Craft Room/Studio

I have a fairly extensive (and growing) Pinterest board focused on ideas for my dream Office/Craft room/Studio. I'm realizing this space will take some serious planning so I wanted to a running brain dump I can update periodically as I plot so some day when I actually  get to make this space it will be very well thought out b/c the amount of function and flexibility I'm going to need is not to be understated. This is a stream of consciousness conversation for personal use and may not make sense to anybody else. I'm added some separate posts w itemized lists of what I want so I'm adding links to my List Headers.

1. Computer Space - I'm going to need room for my computer plus back up HD, plus printer & cutter and extra paper etc. W/ a dang good chair on wheels so I an roll it from station to station. Some work space next to it and probably storage for my binders and basic office supplies (probably close to my comfy chair b/c there will be lots of back and forth use btwn these two). This is going to be a nicer finished smooth surface b/c of the tech equipment. Over head shelves could hold the printer and cutter and binders etc?? Office supplies in drawers under? Big Idea/inspiration boards close by would be VERY helpful.

Stacked space right next to the computer b/c both the Cameo and the printer/scanner will need to hardline into the machine at times. Scanner will need lots of top access to to put things in and out, so Cameo on bottom and Cameo will need pull out space b/c I'm going to need back access to feed rolls in to it. Large smooth area for the cameo to pull out to. Slide back into bottom corner nook when not in use. Printer just above it. Easy access to hardline for scanner usage and top shelf allows easy scanner access. Going to want lots of paper storage near by also vinyl storage and maybe scrapbooking papers all in the same place. Maybe left side of L has computer, corner has printer/cameo and right side of L is open space for cameo to spread out/photography to happen/order packaging  and tons of storage above and below for all of the above and leads to comfy chair in corner.

I'm also running a business here out of this corner so a scale and shipping supplies and storage here for packing orders quickly. Keeping of receipts and any money boxes and the square or whatever check books etc is wise. Filing cabinet space would be great for papers. I'm going to need a command center for incoming/outgoing mail/bills/shipments so the paper doesn't eat me. Big visible marker board to do list for quicky priorities/notes?

2. Jewelry Space - Wire storage, bench pin, saw, tumbler, hammers, disc cutter, mandrels, jig, clamp, drill press (maybe garage thing), torch space, Third hand, bits and files, black project tray storage, enameling project storage, bead/component/clay storage, pasta machine/clay oven, big kick, finished jewelry display, magnification, lighting, chemicals like pickle pot and antiquings and finishes and pyrex for mixing/using them. Lots of work in progress tray storage. Needs to be a separate surface from my large worktable and my computer area b/c the vibrations and pounding would be bad for the computer and a lot of this is not moveable or not very so it needs a dedicated area. A raw wood work surface wouldn't be a bad idea. Something fairly easy to replace when I trash it b/c with the hammering and drilling etc, this surface WILL get dissed. Slots for bench pin. Needs to be heavy duty to handle the weight and pressure of the equipment. Some combination of pegboard and shelving would probably be wise over head.

Shelves for display pieces for storage of finished jewelry  - So its all out and beautiful for people/students to come see, I take it down and put in containers to pull out for shows/table displays/ I can easily grab and wear for sale/promotion. Busts and Frames and Easels and wracks etc. Some nicer enclosed glass front cases for sterling items/rings.

3. Crafting Storage - Yarn, crochet/knit tools, fine art supplies, vinyl, paint, sandpaper, paint brushes, sketch books, scrapbooking papers/cutters/scissors/supplies, cross stitch stuff, ribbon, washi tape, multimedia. I want this to be super easy to access and as visible as possible so I can see and easily access/remember what I have. But I'd prefer not to have to dust it constantly. ;)

4. Large Worktable Space - I can use this to teach classes. I can use this for big projects like quilts and fabric cutting and doing batches of board painting etc. I can sew on top of here if I have a place to store my machines separately when they are not in use. Tons of storage underneath it. I can make beads here. If my fire set up is moveable I can set it here when I need it. If I can make my photography stuff easy to move in and out I can set up photography here. Big space with awesome lighting day and night. I'm okay if the table gets paint all over it b/c thats what a work table is for. Need to make strategic knee room so legs don't hit the storage shelves under. Cut outs or over hang?? Hmmm??? Perhaps drop sides for space friendly flexibility?? Access all around? Or folds/rolls out from wall to center of room as needed?? Flips down from wall when needed??

5. Comfy Chair Corner (Chaise Lounge anyone??) I need a comfy place to sit and brain storm.

6. Sewing Space - sewing machine, serger, tools, fabric storage, pattern storage, cutting board/ruler, sewing basket

7. Place for another person to sit and visit (or desk chair that can roll around to all my spaces plus the comfy chair should cut it). Folding chairs for classes. Those store easy (elsewhere).

8. Kid corner. Little table and chair, maybe folding, maybe w/ the easel, so they can craft with Momma? A box or two of dedicated kid crafting supplies?

9. Photography space/storage - I need to be able to take pics of stuff quickly and easily in order to post them in online stores. If this doesn't store easily close to the computer would be smart b/c its all going to get edited and put online. Big roll of white paper for back drop. Flexible b/c I need to photograph larger things like signs, that aren't as demanding and tricky, down to shiny silver jewelry that is HIGHLY demanding and tricky. Storage for lights, easel, soft box for jewelry. Perhaps lights can do double duty for craft show tents???

10. General - Hard floors are smart. Tile or preferably laminate, nothing delicate. Maybe a small rug but probably not b/c I don't want anything to impair my wheelie chairs ability to roll around from station to station. I like white for the furniture/shelving with a color on the walls. I need something cheerful and inspiring. A beautiful, happy color with lots of accents. Neutral flooring. Tons and tons of lights from a million angles. I like options. Fan is good. I need to make sure I have enough space for not only everything I have, but everything I plan to have and lots of work in progress storage so its easy to clean and keep clean b/c I have a place for everything and everything can be in its place. I'm an ADHD multi crafter. I need to be able to jump from project to project easily. I need visible labels EVERYWHERE. Only way I'll survive.