Life is Complicated

I am blessed and cursed to have a very large collection of family, both immediate and extended that loves me and wants my attention.

On the surface that sounds like a really good thing but the complication comes from a couple sources. Probably the biggest one is that - just because they love me and want my attention does not mean that they love each other and that the world will not implode if they are forced to be in near proximity to each other.

Locally there are 2 groups of people on my husbands side and 4 groups on my side that want our attention every single holiday and most of those cannot be in the same space. And there is simply no way to do 6 christmases or 6 easters. I'm sorry I guess I'm just a selfish bastage and don't wanna put myself through that. So our sort of compromise thus far has been - we pick one group from his side and one from mine and thats that. We try hard to rotate through the holidays so that nobody gets too dissed.

This same issue rears its head anytime my immediate family comes to town, because the afore mentioned 4 sides of my family all immediately begin clamoring for their attention. Its so bad that in the past we've gotten nasty letters after we got back home from relatives who feel they were slighted and didn't receive their allotted portion of our time. It gets old real fast.

I have an aunt (who is married into our family, so when she comes to town who she really wants to see is HER parents) who outraged large portions of the family when she stopped announcing that she was coming into town. She'd just call and say "Hi I'm here. I leave in 2 days. We can get together for one big dinner on either of the two days we've got left" and if you show up good and if you don't too bad. There were all sorts of fits when that started.

Personally I think its brilliant and if my father could be trusted to keep his mouth shut about such a thing (he can't) I'd totally do it next time Mom comes to town because I don't share well. lol.

A second big part of the problem is that some parts of the family are well.... more fun to be around that others. Its harsh but true. There are those you just get along with better. It doesn't mean you don't love the person, it just means that theres only so much drama/abuse a person can stand and therefore we do our duty as family and then we go do whatever the heck we want!

Things in Texas were MUCH easier when I was growing up. It was just the four of us and there was almost NO problems when it came to figuring out holidays cuz well.... it was just the four of us. So one meal, one location, one group. Almost no problems.

Well even Texas has gotten complicated and the last few times I've gone home its stressed me quite a bit. I desperately want to go home and visit but part of me almost doesn't want to go now just b/c I'm so sick of the drama every friggin time I go home.

My sister is a very intense person and a serious planner. She is all about her schedule and control and does not take it well when things do not go according to plan. My parents are cancer survivors. They refuse to get stressed out when life doesn't go according to plan anymore. They just roll with it. This does make them a tad flakey but it keeps their stress level down. Problem is that it keeps my sisters stress level WAY up because she does NOT handle the flake well.

I tend to be more like my folks. I'd rather roll with most things than get stressed out over it. This also stresses my sister out. So the last few times I've been home, when something doesn't go according to plan theres a melt down, and sometimes these plans are made by certain individuals without informing the others that the plans have been made, and the ensuing melt down for disrupted uniformed plans is the same level as the informed plans.

And it gets really, really old. And I don't know what to do about it. But the melt downs need to stop because they rob me of so much of the joy of going home.

I want to GO!

I really, really, really wanna go home to Texas and see my folks and my nieces. Like, REAL bad. And Adam can't get the time off work right now and theres nobody that can make the drive with me, but its like 300 bucks to fly it right now by the time you pay all the fees and crap and it would only cost me about 150 bucks to drive it. So I've been debating how crazy it is to just drive it with me and the baby all by ourselves.

The concerns are as follows:

1. The best option for the baby is to leave the house at like 10:30 pm and drive through the night so he'll sleep through the bulk of the trip. Its about 15 hours drive time, 18 with breaks for food and gas etc. If I drove straight through we could be in Houston by about 3 pm the next day. The concern for me is - can I safely drive and stay awake that long? Because if in the middle of the day I realize I have to get some sleep, Caleb isn't gonna be cool with that if it doesn't happen to coincide with his nap time. And usually he won't nap unless it is in his crib or in the car while the car is moving. So there is a high potential for lots of screaming and me being unable to get a nap.

I know I could do this if I was 20 but I'm not, I'm closer to 30 now, but I think it might be possible if I take a nice nap in the afternoon before I leave and I drink lots of mountain dew.

2. Option 2: Leaving early in the morning, driving all day, stopping at a hotel and then driving the next day has several major draw backs - it dramatically increases the amount of waking time that Caleb has to be strapped into the car seat and unable to crawl around and raise Cain like he likes to. Also I have to pay for a hotel room.

3. Caleb's bottles. For the most part he can hold them on his own just fine. But a lot of the time he doesn't want to hold it or he wants to play with it while he's holding it which means formula winds up dripped all over creation. I think I need to switch him to a sippy cup for this to work. Something with handles that are easier for him to hold and that won't leak all over the car when he inevitably flings it around. Because it would massively increase our drive time if I have to pull over every time he wants a bottle. I mean I have to pull over to feed him for sure, but bottles would add a lot.

4. Toys. Once dropped they'd be toast so I'd have to set up some sort of system where the toys are on a rope or I've got a whole bag full that I can hand him every time he drops one because fishing around while driving is a bad idea and pulling over every 5 miles is an even worse one.

I've figured out I can use the umbrella stroller to hold Caleb when I have to pee. He might not be happy about it but its small enough I can get it and me into a stall and have my hands free to do my business.

I think I can pull this off with option 1...

Now, when do I want to do it and what all has to happen before I can leave??

Link Mania

Hi Folks,

I've been shamefully neglecting you because I have been in a serious funk. I won't go into details right now but we're starting to do better. Its a fragile better still but its progress.

I just have a couple bones to pick from the news this morning:

Bone 1: 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100311/ap_on_re_us/us_lesbian_prom_date;_ylt=Avn4DTh2wvfkIB0ZhFZshYCs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNwbjB1MTA0BGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTAwMzExL3VzX2xlc2JpYW5fcHJvbV9kYXRlBGNjb2RlA21vc3Rwb3B1bGFyBGNwb3MDMTAEcG9zAzcEcHQDaG9tZV9jb2tlBHNlYwN5bl9oZWFkbGluZV9saXN0BHNsawNtaXNzc2Nob29scHI-

Long story short: Mississippi school canceled prom rather than let a lesbian student attend wearing a tuxedo and bringing her gf. I mean really??? But then clearly I must not be the "right sort of person". I guess I'm kinda weird - I do think that homosexuality is a sin. However, I don't see it as being any worse or really any different that any other premarital sex. And honestly, at least she's not going to wind up pregnant thanks to post prom partying...

Bone 2:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100311/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_dutch_nurses

Apparently there are some groups arguing that "patient care" includes caring for the patients sexual needs which translates to: Your  nurse should give you a happy ending with your sponge bath. And one nurse who refused was fired for "being unfit to provide care." Needless to say this isn't going well with the nurses union who has launched an add campaign that says we're drawing the line here.

But I mean seriously?? I know massage therapists have this issue but nurses? Dang. Poor things.

Bone 3:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100311/od_afp/fblengprtottenhamcrouchsportsoffbeat_20100311153038

Okay so this one isn't so much a bone as it is a funny. I just love the:
Q:"What would you be if you weren't a footballer?"
A:"A virgin".

There's a couple other funny ones in there. Enjoy.

Get your Groupon Baby!

So I just have to take a moment to shamelessly pimp my new happy: 

Groupon

http://www.groupon.com/r/uu872908

Check it out! I heard about it at Christmas - My Dad got my Mom like a 2 hour massage and facial at a top notch spa in Houston for dirt cheap and I was impressed. So I got home and checked it out. Apparently groupon is in most major cities and I was THRILLED to discover - its here in Phoenix baby!

Basically its collective buying power. Business that wants to advertise offers an awesome deal (usually like 50% off or better) if at least 50 people will buy the deal. Thus far I haven't seen a deal with less than 500 takers. And its awesome stuff! This last weekend we got 40 bucks worth of the best chinese food I've ever had in Arizona for 18 dollars. How sweet is that??

We can finally afford date night AND diapers! Rock on! And so I pimp my happy. Check it out folks:

http://www.groupon.com/r/uu872908