Friday, September 9, 2011

The Bad Wives Club

I have half a mind to start a new website and call it "The Bad Wives Club" b/c I will state here and now that I am a "Bad Wife". And I want to support other women in relieving themselves of guilt over being "Bad Wives".
B/c my Grandma is HORRIFIED that I do not get up when my husband does every morning and make him breakfast. 

My response: "He can't pour himself cereal? Are his fingers broken? Legs?" Cuz seriously that man doesn't eat breakfast half the time. When he does its a protein bar or cereal. AND its actually happened once or twice that I happened to be up and hungry when he was getting ready to go and I made this nice breakfast and yeah he either wasn't hungry or didn't have time to eat it as he was rushing out the door (and yes I threw it in a container so he could take it with him but still).
My cousin is angst ridden now that she's a stay at home mom with two small children, that she doesn't "contribute" anymore so she doesn't want to ask her husband for help around the house even though she's overwhelmed b/c "he works all day".

My response: He gets to LEAVE work and come home. I NEVER LEAVE work. My work goes on 24-7-365. Granted right now that my hub is doing work full time PLUS grad school at night I'm cutting him some slack during the week. But that doesn't mean he does NOTHING. I mean if he helps me out a little then we can both relax, together. And quality time? Thats important.

Also do you know how much it would cost to replace what you do?? We're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars here ladies! Premo child care is NOT cheap. Hundreds to THOUSANDS of dollars a month and you still can't pay somebody to love your child like you love them. And you can hope that they're teaching your kids the values that you value and want them to have. And in addition to that add the costs of a laundry service, cleaning service (full time, live in), cooking service (3 meals a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for multiple people). Oh and a lot of the mom's I know also do SOME sort of cottage industry to try to bring in some extra cash so don't forget to add that too. Oh and a grocery service to do your shopping for you. Oh and for those ladies who do the couponing thing - add in the extra costs of non-coupon food to your budget. Oh and add an accountant/book keeper to keep track of the budget and pay the bills. A yard service. A car washing service. A taxi service for the kids. Tutors to help with homework.

I'm probably missing a few things in there. I know my sister would have to add a 1 on 1 personal attendant for my special needs niece...
My other cousin is all apologetic b/c her husband asks "Honey do I have any clean jeans?" and she's all "Ooops I didn't get to the laundry yet b/c I've been cleaning x, y and z".

My response: "Did you wash'em?" B/c hello, I don't wear your clothes (unless you happen to then hey whatever makes you happy). So if you notice that you're running out, ask me nicely and odds are I'll be happy to bump that up my priority list. Or better yet, go start a load yourself and odds are good I'll be happy to finish it.

But no I'm not opinionated or anything. Why do you ask?

Update: If you have the perfect husband who comes home after a long day of work, and mows the lawn, fixes the pipes, washes the car, and keeps right on working hard, then GOOD for you. I'm happy and delighted for you. However, I'm not talking about THAT guy. So please don't freak on me. You're clearly not a bad wife.

1 comment:

  1. This is so absolutely perfect. I am right there with you. It is all a matter of communication & expectations. 30 years and I'm still working on it.