Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Manure Tolerance

I think I might be getting crotchety in my old age.

That or I'm developing a severely limited tolerance for bull shit**. Its like I just go, "You. Yes, you. You elevate my stress. Therefore I refuse to deal with you further. BE GONE DEMON!!!"

Maybe not exactly like that but close.

And see the thing is that its just so amazingly liberating. And invigorating and refreshing and like this massive load if off your back that its kinda like poppin' the top on a can of pringles: you just can't stop!

So then when the next bearer of a shit bucket comes a long and elevates my stress - I just look at them with this glint in my eye and go, "I ain't takin this from so-and-so, who I have way better reasons to take it from than you, so, there ain't NO WAY I'm gonna take it from you either! BE GONE DEMON!!!"
Lemme take a minute to explain a very important bit of my personal theology. Aka "The Shit Bucket Allegory" (if I'm misusing the word allegory I don't want to know) *ahem*:

I once had it explained to me by a very wise friend that there are people in this life that run around handing steaming buckets of shit out to other people. And they actually expect you to take this steaming bucket of shit from them, thank them for it and then dump it on your own head for them. And they become very irate when you refuse to do so and want to brow beat you into feeling bad that you're not taking their shit bucket and making it your own.

It is a VERY important life skill to learn to recognize these people and their shit buckets for what they are. It is very, very good for your mental health to be able to say, "I know what this is. This right here is a shit bucket and I don't have to take it."

Seriously. Start looking at your life and your interactions with people, especially the ones that leave you feeling like mud afterwards and start trying to identify the shit buckets. If you're up to your neck in shit this may be difficult so I'd recommend consulting with a friend. A good friend can help you to identify shit buckets and validate your feelings.

Just remember and say it with me "That is a shit bucket and I don't have to take it".

Personally learning the Shit Bucket Allegory was a BIG step in my personal growth and development. And I've remembered it for all these years because it made me laugh. The image was just so bizarre. B/c theres simply no way in heck I'd ever dump a literal bucket of shit on my own head, and yet emotionally thats exactly whats going on. And equating one with the other was what I needed in order for me to realize that I didn't/shouldn't/wouldn't take that from people anymore. It validated me. I had that right. And that this was WRONG and I didn't have to take it. B/c believe it or not but your very own Ami was once a door mat.

I realize people who know me now find this shocking. But its true. I was a door mat. I was an enabling, codependent doormat. Yup. ME. And ya know it took me a bit to identify that as an actual change in my personality and not just a change in my self identity.

Because before my mission, I would have described myself as "mellow, laid back and easy going" but on my mission I discovered that I was only mellow in comparison to my mother and sister and that I am my very own little fire ball.

But as I've gotten even older and looked back more (ahhh hindsight) I've realized that theres more too it than that. I wasn't "easy going". I was a doormat. And yes I am a fire ball now. But once upon a time? Ha. I was a punching bag for the popular crowd in grade school.

And I have to say this: I really like me a whole bunch better now. And I'm a whole lot happier.

Its fun. Identify and reject a shit bucket today! Its GREAT.

** For those who object to profanity - and yes I usually try to keep myself from using it - I'm using it intentionally here for the shock value of the mental image of "a steaming bucket of shit" because that is the reality of what these emotional terrorist are trying to do and I want that jarring image to invoke the strong reaction because thats what it took for me to wake up and realize I had a right to defend myself.

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