So I got a comment on my last post and its haunted my thoughts as I cleaned (I so kicked butt in the office btw). Judy doesn't make resolutions. She choses to give herself a gift. I want to give myself the gift of a house of order. I feel so, so much better about life the universe and everything when my house is in order. I cannot control other people. I cannot control anything except my own actions. I can decide to give myself this gift. I can have a beautiful, peaceful, clean and organized home. I can give that to myself. Its in my power to do so. And that gift would mean so much to me.
And yes this is not a small task. But instead of this horrible thing that haunts me and makes me feel like a bad mother/wife/person I can chose to one small piece at a time give myself this gift. And it can be beautiful and if I just do one thing at a time its not too big or over whelming and I can feel better, more peaceful and have pride in my home.
There is nothing to be lost, no matter how things in my life turn out, by putting things in order and making things more beautiful. I think this is the gift I want to give myself.
I want to give myself the gift of health by focusing on improving my eating and exercising but I don't think I can handle that yet. I don't feel ready for that. Capable of that. But I do feel fully capable of giving myself the gift of a house of order.
So thats my focus. I chose to give myself the gift of a house of order and I will do it one small step at a time until I manage it.
Also - I think the start at the back and work my way forward thru the paper mountain is exactly the right thing to do. I'm so excited. I think I can actually conquer this this time. :)
I am Ami and this is my little corner of the interweb to pollute as I see fit. Sometimes I'll be boring, sometimes I might even be funny. I can guarantee I'll be random, verbose, occasionally deep, and I'll definitely over share. This is probably the closest a person can get to seeing the actual contents of the inside of my head. Stay if you enjoy my ranting, go if you don't. Either one is okay because here, I write for me.
I love the gift to myself idea too. If you are interested, two helpers. One is Sidetrack Home Executive, from Pigpen to paradise, is a book I used to rethink house work. I don't use the system because it was too much work to set up the first time but I liked the change in thinking. The other is FLYLADY.org. She also used the SHE program but it didn't work for her so she started baby steps to new routines. Thanks to her I can find my kitchen counters on a regular basis. Both changed my view about caring for my house. I am still struggling but that is a different story. I am still doing baby steps. You can do this.
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