Growing Up

Somedays I think being a grown up just means they've successfully taught you how to turn your own thumb screws (envision a medieval rack with me here....)

I laugh every time I hear a teenager talk with relish about how excited they'll be to be a grown up and "get to do what they want". ROFL Being a grown up just means you have to kick your own a** up between your ears. And believe me there are days when I really, really wish I had the threat of my mother's wrath to motivate me to do the things I should do.

And what really sucks is when you have to face your own dragons. Sure you can run and hide and stick your fingers in your ears and pretend they're not really out there. Or better yet sit and talk about what you'd do to those dang dragons if you ever got the chance to go toe to toe with them (while making sure you never. actually. do.).

And there are some people who live their whole lives this way.... huddled under the bed with their security blanket, afraid to move. Change sucks. Change hurts. Change is uncomfortable. You can substitute "growth" for "change" in all of those statements. And we humans are nothing if not lazy beast good at avoiding discomfort. We're big fans of trying to slap a band aid on a bullet wound and pretending its really not THAT bad.

But the ultimate truth of it is.... its killing you. Whether you want  to admit it or not, its killing you.

And then comes the decision time, do you stay holed up, hands clamped tight to your bandaid or your security blanket or do you stand, rip it off, see what there really is to see in the bold light of day and chose to fight?

Sometimes the hardest strongest thing is to admit when you've broken. To realize when you can't and shouldn't do it anymore.

And then you realize that what you have to do before you do anything else, is fix you.

All by yourself you have to find healing. You need to learn how to be okay with you again. And once you do that, then you'll take another look around and decide what path you need to take.