Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I'm a rather opinionated person when it comes to smells. For years I didn't think I was that bad because I've got nothing on my sister. I think that woman can smell a cigarette a half mile away. I'm only that bad when I'm pregnant. But I am a really picky snot.

What got me thinking of this was going perfume smelling (like shopping but with out the intent to buy) with Bre the other day. I realize now that I got spoiled at a very early age with perfume. Starting when I was like 8, our next door neighbor was a sweet lady named Cathy (she even spells it right) and she was a really exotically beautiful woman from some where in South America. And some what unusually, Cathy was a perfume model.

Apparently she has the like perfect body chemistry so every fragrance just smells amazing on her. Add that to the fact she was a knock out and she made her living modeling perfume. She'd dress up to match the theme of whatever the fragrance was and go to release parties for the big designers wearing their perfume and looking amazing. It was kinda cool.

And since she traveled quite a lot and had cats, she'd have us feed her kitties while she was gone and say thank you for that service with perfume! (It was a dang sweet deal). Sometimes it was just little samples but sometimes it was whole big bottles of amazing fragrances. The really expensive ones too.

And so from a very young age I have a remarkably expensive palette for perfume. My top 4 fragrances (at the moment) for myself are Givenchy Very Irresistible, Ralph Lauren Romance, Chanel Chance, and Estee Lauder Pleasures.

And its not just that I like the smell of expensive perfume, its that I really, really, really, really HATE the smell of cheap perfume. I don't know what it is about cheap perfume, if they use a different base or something but it stinks. It burns my nostrils and makes me slightly nauseous. Cheap cologne isn't quite as bad, I assume because the pheromones help to override some of my base dislike. But cheap perfume? UGH.

And I don't know how much of it is that the kind of people that wear cheap perfume feel compelled to wear a gallon of the stuff or if its just the nature of the beast but its always just so over powering. Or perhaps my nose is just particularly sensitive to that noxious odor. I don't know, but I hate it when somebody walks by wearing cheap perfume and it reaches up and smacks me in the nostrils. Or worse - if I hug somebody with cheap perfume and I wind up smelling like it. Some how that never happens with great smelling expensive perfumes its just the nasty smelling cheap stuff that follows me. Of course.

If it helps at all I'm this picky about how houses smell, particularly my own. Its one of my bed rock beliefs that when you step into my home you should either smell NOTHING or it should smell Good. Being hit with a malodor when you step through the door is not acceptable. Likewise, unless you actually see my pets you shouldn't be able to tell that I have them. That is the level of performance I expect of my cat litter and the cleanliness I expect of my dogs (when I have dogs that is, which is sadly, not atm).

If something smells funky it should be deep cleaned. If it can't be properly cleaned it needs to be thrown out. Sorry. Thats just how we roll in Momma's house.

I think thats why my least favorite chore ever is taking out the trash. You have to start by bending over the trash can so it can reach up and sock you in the nose and then you have to haul the stench with you, out to the dumpster which is just, horrifically malodorous and then you have to open the vile thing so the wave can nail you in the olfactory bulb with a wicked right hook and then heave the bag of trash up right past your face so you get one final wiff before it falls into the vile pit and you can slam the lid shut (causing another gust of nasty) and run away.

Yeah, for some reason I REALLY hate taking out the trash....

1 comment:

  1. Hysterical!! I'm chemical sensitive myself. This did help because there are perfumes I don't mind and perfumes that I would prefer were in another universe. I wondered if it was only me being fickle that I loved some scents and hated others, especially when those others gave me migraines. I think one of the difference between the expensive stuff and cheap stuff is that people don't slather on the expensive stuff because it's, well, expensive. They don't worry so much about the cheap stuff. Plus, the cheap stuff usually also comes in bath salts, soap, powder, etc, so they can literally bathe themselves in it. I also think it is a problem with their sense of smell. I've asked. They really can't smell it, so they put on more. Scary.