Drama

My life has contained way too much drama of late for my tastes. And it actually tends to make me asocial, because I try not the share the whiney stuff too much with other people. So when I'm not exactly winning at life that doesn't give me a lot of positive to share and therefore if you can't say something nice you shouldn't say anything at all, right? So then I don't know what to say, so I say nothing.

And I also really feel like my conversation options are kinda limited atm: my problems (that people don't want to hear) or my kid (which people probably hear too much about) or my jewelry (same problem as the kid). I'd say I need to get out more or get a new hobby but hello if I had time and energy for that I wouldn't have the problems and we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I think I may be extra gun shy about sharing my problems because I've had it get back to me before thru a mutual friend that certain people in the past have considered me a whiner. Somebody who bitches non stop and does not shut up. I really didn't care to think of myself that way so I've tried to make super extra careful that I only do my whining to super safe people and to still apologize profusely when I do and tell them that I appreciate them listening to me whine. In the hopes that I can keep from ever being called a whiner (for serious) again.

And so when all you can think is "X sucks. I wish Y" over, and over again it really limits your ability to think up fresh and interesting conversation starters. Especially ones that don't involve your small child who your world pretty much revolves around now days. And "Hi. How are you?" only gets you so far with most people. Especially since I'd be building a lot of new friendships if I wanted to be really social.

I am deeply grateful for the friends I have and especially for the super safe ones that listen to my whining. I really hope the drama can resolve itself soon. Parts of my extended family might specialize in the soap opera life style but I've never really cared for it. Boring sounds really good to me right now.

Oh well. As a very wise friend once told me: This too shall pass.