Friday, November 5, 2010

Me = Ray of F-ing Sunshine

Ya know the problem with eating is that if you feed your body then it gets snarky ideas like it should be fed regularly and then will protest vigorously in a few hours time that it in fact needs to be fed AGAIN. Where as if you just skip the whole eating thing for the most part the smarmy body just shuts up and gives up and leaves you in peace. Sure you might feel strangely tired all the time but as long as you keep drinking water you won't actually die. Well, drinking water and eating say, one meal a say, preferably a few hours before bed time so that you can just go to bed when it gets to be time that that uppity body decides it wants more food.

And no I'm not intentionally Not Eating, I'm just.... not eating. Mostly because I've had like no appetite all week. But then I'll try to tell myself "Okay woman you need to eat, cognitively you know the body needs fuel." And so we make ourselves eat even though its kinda gross atm (which is saying something cuz I'm usually a big fan of food) and in repayment I get to feel kinda nauseated for a couple hours until its time that the stomach starts growling for more food but honestly the last few hours has not endeared me to this eating notion and so I don't want to feed the stupid thing again and have it thank me by making me nauseated again.

Whole point of that conversation: I'm hungry again. Also bored. Also its nap time so I want to sleep but I have stuff I should be doing but don't want to because I'm hungry, nauseated and tired. And we ate in the hopes it would fix the tired. It hasn't but it has made me nauseated. This isn't how this was supposed to work.

Also I'm so bored, I'm posting random crap to twitter, facebook, skype and blogger at an unprecedented rate. People keep telling me to discover play dates and that sounds great except for one nagging problem: I have no friends with kids my kids age locally. Which probably means I need to go ask at church if they've got a play group going where I could go make friends. I know they used to have one but 'm not sure if they have one now.

Its just that the problem with making friends atm is that my life sucks right now and so I'm not exactly a little ray of sunshine and being all "my life sucks" is not a great way to win friends and influence people ya know?

Also contacting people to find out about playgroups qualifies under the category of crap I need to do that takes more energy than I've got atm. And also has the danger (this is mormon land after all) of, if there isn't a current play group going, being the one to suggest one is needed can get one volunteered to organize it, which would just me another thing on my guilt list of crap I'm not doing that I should be doing if I was really a good person.

No I'm not wallowing in self pity and a defeatist attitude. Why do you ask?

I'd get up to make a dramatic exit right now [read: wander off in search of a cookie] but that would take too much energy...

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