Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Why I Blog

This is in response to a question by Aunt Becky: Why do YOU blog?

I actually started a few blogs back when, mostly as a place to rant and flame and say whatever the hell came to my mind in a place that I could say ANYTHING. I don't even remember the urls. I went so far as to set up dummy email accounts just so I could have a blog attached to nothing else in my life so I could say ANYTHING.

I was afraid to flat out post ANYTHING on a blog that people I know read mostly b/c I do in my little heart of hearts believe that words MATTER. Theres a right way to say things and a wrong way to say things and you should never ever put in print something you wouldn't mind having posted in the village square. Relationships can be horribly, irreparably damaged by the wrong words.

And so, those blogs died quickly. Mostly, I think, b/c once the fire of my anger was gone... I didn't have much use for the blog.

Next I started Fleipaper for all my non facebook friends and family as a place to post updates and pictures and not have to spam my entire address book. It also has the perk of any person who whines that they don't know whats up no longer has any excuse - go look at facebook or my blog. I'm sorry but I don't have time to call EVERYBODY. Its not personal. I'm just a flake and I'm that crazy/insane pretty much all the time b/c thats just how we roll.

And then I kept posting these mile long Notes on facebook b/c they weren't necessarily appropriate for a "family blog" and it was then I decided what I really needed was my own space. A blog just for me. To say anything and everything. The good, the bad, the ugly, the boring, the stupid, the rants, the random, the I need somebody to talk to and its 2 am and I can't sleep and I can't call anybody and wake them up but I have to think this through in words...

And that is how we have "I Like Sparkly Objects". Its the place where I am me. Grotesquely verbose, definitely nerdy, occasionally angry, and always saying what I need to say. B/c I think if I couldn't get things OUT there I might actually just die.

I don't really censor myself, but I do try to not be hurtful. I have a loyalty to the people that I love. And although they might occasionally make me crazy I don't want to just flame out on them in a public forum b/c thats just not the kind of person I am. And honestly I've actually found it really helps me to more rationally evaluate the situation if I do it from the round about arms length method I use here for topics like that.

I need the rant. I need to vent. I need to get it out. I need to understand exactly what it is about the situation that is making me crazy so that I can process through it and find my way out the other side. What I do not need to do is completely destroy my personal relationships which I could easily do if I flat flamed out.

And ya know what I am WELL aware that I am probably the only person on the planet that ever reads my drivel (except when I read a post out loud to my husband and inflict my ramblings on him) and I am well aware that I am probably occasionally DEAD boring and absolutely no fun to read. And ya know what? I don't give a flying flip.

I don't. I write because I NEED TO. Its almost a form of mental exorcism. I have to just come here and mind purge on to this screen and send it out to pollute the internet. I doubt I will ever be popular. I'm no where near as funny as Aunt Becky, I'm not any sort of celebrity or passionate activist or insanely talented like Pioneer Woman or any of the greats. I am simply me.

I'm Ami and this is my blog. And if you ever do read all the way to the end of one of my epically long posts - wow. Thank you. I'm honored.

.... And slightly concerned for your mental health....

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