Monday, April 26, 2010

So I've developed a new guilty internet pleasure. Its all my sister's fault. She found them first and got me hooked on them.

My favorites are the Top FMLs under the "You Deserved It" category. I've learned a lot reading them actually thanks to the stunning number of people who post remarkably similar FMLs. For example:

1. Never ever get drunk. Especially in the presence of devices capable of recording your drunken antics.

2. Never, ever draw a graphic image intending to erase/cover it later. Your batteries will die, your equipment will break, you'll forget about it or the marker will turn out to be permanent and you will be screwed.

3. Upon seeing your significant other talking to a member of the opposite sex, do not immediately respond in some extreme fashion until you have ascertained that the other person is not some variety of family member and that it is in fact your significant other and not somebody who looks like them lest you make a complete A of yourself.

4. Before yelling/throwing something/being rude to a person who is annoying you in some fashion its good to make sure that they are not in fact a small child, or a person with special needs or a disability so you don't make a complete A of yourself.

5. Always make sure your tshirt doesn't say something embarrassing before talking to your significant other's parents.

6. Always, always, always triple check the TO line on emails, text messages etc.

7. Never, ever write a rant about a person anywhere that you could accidentally click and send it to them.

8. If you're going to be a moron and try to rip some place off do not leave behind your wallet, cell phone or other important personal items.

9. Be nice to homeless people lest they open a can on you.

10. Never, ever take a nude photo of yourself. It will never end well.

11. Never assume that other people can't understand you because you speak a foreign language.

12. Never trust spell check.

13. Never, ever leave a rude note on the wind shield of someones car. It will come back to haunt you.

14. Make sure you know if your sunglasses are see through or reflective. It will save you in multiple situations.

15. Always smell mystery substances before assuming their food and popping them into your mouth, its probably not what you think it is.

16. Save yourself and never ever lie or cheat. You will get caught.

17. Never mess with a cat. You'll lose.

18. Never have one thing in one hand and one thing in the other. The odds that you will eat/throw/squash the wrong thing are excellent.

19. Never, ever assume something is a ball and kick it.

20. Never, ever try to show off. It never ends well.

21. Always, always, always pay FULL attention to your driving.

22. Always answer your phone, check your messages, mail etc lest you miss something really important.

23. Never, ever make a snarky/rude comment unless you are fully aware of who within ear shot and who they are related to.

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